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Y Hornsey is a project set up by the parish in conjunction with the local YMCA to improve the life experience and life chances of children and young people living in Hornsey, particularly those facing any kind of disadvantage. We are supported by, and work cooperatively with, a number of community organisations.

 

Although we offer wide support, we particularly focus on helping children and families facing the most severe social, emotional or mental health problems—those who would, in better times, have had the support of CAMHS, Early Help, Social Services or other agencies, and those most at risk of suffering from lifelong poverty and/or social exclusion.

 

Although these people always have short-term needs to be addressed, our main focus is long term: helping them to make permanent and substantial changes that genuinely improve their life chances.

 

As a limited resource, we focus on the children and young people with whom our work has been shown to be most effective:  those who are very withdrawn or otherwise hard to reach; and those whom adults find disruptive, aggressive, or violent—often labelled “oppositional and defiant”.

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We receive requests for help from families in the community, referrals from schools, and requests for assistance from Haringey Learning Partnership (who deal with pupils who have been permanently excluded). There is more demand for our help than we are able meet; we assess each situation and provide help where we believe that we can make a substantial and permanent improvement a child’s or young person’s life.

 

We provide help through several activities. We provide one-to-one mentoring, either at school or at home, with children or young people who are struggling with issues that result in social exclusion; we also work directly with parents/carers, where appropriate. Our aim is the full social inclusion of all children and young people; so in addition to providing individual support to those who are most challenged, we also run “Resolution Groups” to help groups of children in conflict to resolve their differences and learn problem-solving skills, anger management, and communication skills.

 

Ethos and way of working

Most of the children and young people we work with have poor ability to develop and manage relationships and—whether they are withdrawn or aggressive—all struggle with unexpressed anxiety, loneliness and shame. Our first task, therefore, is to build a trusting partnership with them—to create a safe space in which they can speak openly and know that they will receive unconditional empathy and support. We treat them with the highest level of politeness, respect and consideration, and encourage them to set goals for our work together and to choose what activities we will undertake. (For most of them this is rather startling, since their experience is generally of being bossed around, hassled, criticised, and reprimanded by those in authority.) In return, we expect (and get!) a very high level of courtesy and cooperation.

 

This dynamic often provides young people with their first experience of feeling listened to and respected, and of being empowered to take control of their time and their choices. This constructive relationship, and the unconditional positive regard in which we hold each child, provides them with the secure sense of attachment that most of them lack, and provides a stable base from which we can address their challenges. 

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The thank-you ritual

Every session ends with a very formal thank-you ritual. The adult and child sit facing each other; the adult starts by thanking the child for their time, and for all the things that the adult admires about the child in general, and the specific things that the child has brought to that session. The children love this part of our work, and sometimes launch into it spontaneously, even though the adult is meant to start! For most children this is the only time that they receive an appreciation for all that they are and do, and gain an understanding of the positive way in which they are seen by other people. They also come to understand how and why we thank people, and how it helps to create bonds between people.

 

The child then thanks the adult for their time, and for anything else the child feels like expressing. This is a good opportunity to understand what the child experiences and values in their sessions; it is also excellent practice for the children to become comfortable with formal social interactions.

 

When sessions happen in the home, parents are often astonished to hear their children being so grateful and polite, and it is a wonderful chance for them to hear all the things that another adult appreciates about their child. These parents often feel embarrassed or defensive about their children’s behaviour, and witnessing the thanking ritual is a chance to help heal that, and give them a positive experience with their child.

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Monitoring and Evaluation

We have had consistently positive responses to our work from both children and adults, but are always keen to get specific feedback that may help us to improve either overall, or in our work with a particular child.  We monitor and evaluate our work in three ways:

 

External adults: As each child or young person is referred to us, we develop a relationship with the referring individual, agency, or organisation, and keep in close touch with them throughout our work; we want to know what is effective and what ineffective, and often we seek consultations in knowing how best to approach each child or young person or to deal with specific issues.

 

The child or young person’s own evaluation: Each person we work with has the chance in every session to say what they have liked most and least, and found most and least helpful. We regularly review our progress towards the person’s goals, and the person has the chance to say what is and isn’t helping them. We also review whether how often young person would like to keep meeting, or whether they would like to suspend or stop sessions.

 

Y Hornsey Evaluation: We make detailed notes after every session, and (often in conjunction with a referring agency or organisation) periodically review each young person’s progress in the following areas, as applicable:

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- Ability to engage appropriately with peer groups

- Ability to engage appropriately with adults

- Ability to resolve conflicts with peers

- Ability to resolve conflicts with adults

- Engagement with learning

- Emotional regulation

- Anger management

- Self-esteem

- Ability to experience enjoyment

- General sense of wellbeing

 

We then review what in our work is contributing to any improvement in these areas, and what approaches are not effective, and adjust our approach as needed.​​​​

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